Lorn

We start the day like any proper coastal town: bleary-eyed, salty-haired and pretending the smell of wood-fired bread is a valid reason to be up before noon. Back in the day — or at least in the write-ups that keep turning up on our screens — Mountjoy Parade was where the town’s personality got dressed: Merivale’s 2021 purchase of the Lorne Hotel and the long-teased arrival of Totti’s Lorne (Concrete Playground and Broadsheet ran the rollout) gave everyone a reason to take holiday snaps and an opinion on antipasti sizes. Merivale’s expansion was a headline, and Totti’s opening date was the thing we all bookmarked in 2023.

We remember the old favourites the guides like to name-check: Little Picket and The Bottle of Milk made it into the Broadsheet directory, the Lorne Bowling Club had its in-house diner, and Movida Lorne even earned a review before it was marked CLOSED. The Clam gets the postcards — a ’60s-style tavern on the waterfront with DJs, pop-ups and wine pours from Blackhearts & Sparrows, all elbowing up to the Lorne Theatre for culture-adjacent reasons.

Our community side is quieter, softer and entirely unsexy in the best way. The Community House — opened in 1999 as the Lorne Fig Tree Community House — started under the Moreton Bay fig tree (yes, the one near the Lorne Surf Lifesaving Club) and used to run weekday hours from 9.30–2.30 at 16 Mountjoy Parade (corner of Otway Street). It’s the sort of place you read about in local pages and then realise you actually rely on when the weather turns on the Great Otway.

Who would hate living here? If you need a never-ending string of new CBD bars and city-grade trends, you’ll be restless — this place is the slow-motion version of boutique tourism and nature flexing. Who would love it? People who like surf beaches, waterfalls, a touch of bohemian history and coastal stays like Sea Ranch getting photographed for weekend envy.

We’re not trying to be mysterious: the town’s charm is exactly what the reviews say — salty, slightly fussy about seafood, and forever photographed at golden hour. We’ll keep being that place you visit, criticise and then quietly book again.