Yelverton

**Yelverton, WA — where we’re not ‘off-grid’, we’re just fighting about it.**

You know you’ve moved too deep into Margaret River’s spiritual vortex when the biggest drama of the year isn’t a failed vintage — it’s the annual Yelverton Yurt Owners Collective meeting.

Picture the scene: a circle of Subaru Outbacks, Arc’teryx jackets zipped to the chin, and someone’s ginger Cavoodle named ‘Chardonnay’ looking deeply embarrassed for all of us. The agenda item? Who has the *right* to hang a “LIVE LAUGH LOVE” sign on the communal fire pit.

Cue the factions.

The **Solar Purists** — who believe that plugging in a phone charger is a moral failing — squared off against the **Solar Pragmatists**, who just wanted to check if the farmers market was still selling $18 kale. Voices were raised. A chia seed bowl was thrown — we’re told it landed with a wet *thwack* on someone’s premium Gore-Tex. Constable Karen (yes, that’s her real name) had to be called.

A peace-making drum circle was scheduled. It got cancelled because the drummer was “too emotionally attached to his bongo.”

Look, we know how this sounds. But this is what happens when your suburb’s entire identity is built on sleeping in a $20K wine barrel and pretending the compost bin solves everything. The sign in question? Almost certainly from Kmart. The outrage? Genuinely existential.

**Who would hate it here?** The 24-year-old UK backpacker who ended up in Yelverton by mistake (thought it was Yallingup, got lost). They’re crashing in a shed for $50 a week, working a cellar door gig, and when they asked where the nearest pub was, someone said “the cellar door is just five minutes away, mate.” That’s not a pub. That’s a tasting counter.

**Who would love it?** The 45-year-old former corporate lawyer from Cottesloe who now calls herself a “wellness consultant.” She’s got a Subaru Outback with a “100% bullshit” sticker, a husband who says “g’day cunt” like he’s from the outback, and a Sunday routine that involves forest bathing as far as the end of the driveway.

We’re not saying we’re ridiculous. But the last time someone tried to hang a “GATHER” sign above the fire pit, we nearly had a full schism.

Yelverton, WA — where the off-grid ethos is strong, but the petty grievances are stronger.