Baxter

**Baxter, VIC — population: mostly confused delivery drivers.**

If you tell people you live in Baxter, prepare for three reactions: "Oh, the Sydney whisky bar?", "Wait, that Captain Baxter on St Kilda beach?" or the most common one — "Where's Baxter mate?"

Here's the thing. We've got a cracking Cooinda Cat Resort in Langwarrin South that Whirlpool forums rate as the best cattery around. "Lots of human contact, three storey cage with access to a larger one." That's our claim to fame. A cat hotel. We are the suburb where your feline spends more on accommodation than you do on rent.

There’s no Baxter Inn here. That's in Sydney, in an alleyway off Clarence Street, with 800 whiskies and a sexual harassment scandal that the Herald exposed. Not our problem. We don't even have a pub that sells Baxter Australian Crafted Vodka, though Sitchu reckons "you need a little Baxter in your life." We're still waiting for the bottle shop to stock it.

And no, Captain Baxter isn't here either. That's on St Kilda beach, doing seafood and 1920s Bahamas bungalow vibes. We've got the Mornington Peninsula Freeway and a Caltex.

Back in the day, a few locals might have known about Pete Baxter's Hope St Radio — that Collingwood wine bar with the custom sound system and natural wines. But that's not us. That's an artist and musician who happens to share our name. We share our name with a lot of things. Vodka. A distiller in McLaren Vale. A wine bar in Subiaco that does a mean baked bean jaffle.

Who would hate it here? Anyone who Googles "Baxter" expecting a hidden Sydney whisky bar with complimentary pretzels. You'll find no 10-metre bar, no Whisky Room concealed in a cellar, no Shady Pines Saloon crew mixing you a Talisker 10 Sour. You'll find a servo and a cat resort.

Who would love it? People who want to tell their cat they're going to the Ritz. And anyone who enjoys the smug satisfaction of saying "no, the *other* Baxter" when someone asks if you've been to that bar in Sydney. We're not famous. We're just… Baxter. And that's perfectly fine for a suburb that doesn't need 800 whiskies when the servo has a perfectly good selection of cleanskins.